Sunday, January 5, 2014

The real me

It's 5 am and I have been awake for 4 hours now.  I seem to have my greatest epiphanies in the early morning hours.  A lot of times I can't get back to sleep because my mind is in a constant loop, sometimes a strange loop, I'll admit.  So I decided to get up and write some of this down.

Tonight I am embracing the real me.  It's been 3 years since I started down my road of transformation.  It originally started with just wanting to lose weight but has transformed into so much more than that.

Even my husband says that I am a completely different person than what he met.  I do admit that I have changed a lot but I believe that I am finally growing into the real me.

I'm learning to embrace everything about me, exactly where I am at, in this moment.  Yes, I have made mistakes in the past.  I have been on top of the mountain and in some pretty low valleys, but I believe ALL of those moments have made me who I am today.

The weight loss journey has evolved into an exploration of who God wants me to be and how He wants to use me.  It amazes me to think how He knew every stupid mistake I would make before I was even born.  I can barely comprehend that He knew every good and every bad thing that has ever happened to me or will ever happen to me before I was born.

I am still here, still alive (more "alive" then ever actually), still desiring more, still embracing change, because He has not failed me yet!  I have never been one big on trust because of my life journey so far, but I believe God is using those experiences to teach me to trust in Him because He takes all of it and turns it into something good for His glory!

I have to admit that I have been reluctant to think about New Year's resolutions in 2014.  Mostly, because I never really seem to stick with them.  This year I think what is on my heart is to focus on what God thinks of me instead of everyone else and to appreciate that I am making progress.

It may sound cheesy to some when I say I want a deeper relationship with my Heavenly Father, one where I can truly relate to Him as Abba, Father, but I am announcing that I resolve to not care what man thinks and not let that stop me from seeking His presence in my life, everyday.

I have to say that this is probably the first time I can remember that I'm excited to see what changes He will bring me.  I encourage all of you to embrace change, even if it is hard, the rewards on the other side will be worth it!

1 comment:

  1. I love you Denise! I am so glad we are in the same place in so many areas!